Recently I spoke with Roz Davies, who is the founder of WeLove Life and is committed to exploring the potential of citizenship and
digital health to improve well-being. We had a discussion about
how the inner aspect of health and holistic approaches to support wellbeing. I
noticed a quote Roz uses - ''When 'I' is replaced with 'We' even illness becomes wellness!"
This saying really struck a
chord with me and I mentioned it to a colleague a few days later. As I was talking about it
I realised that I didn't know it's meaning. The
following day in a coffee shop I tried with the rational mind to unravel the
sentence. It wasn't easy. Ten words meant so much! It's an enigma really that
one set of words can be so simple and yet so deep. There was something here
that was a door leading to other doors. Not in a sense of never understanding
but rather of deep gazing. Deep gazing is where we see things as they are - in
their deepest meaning. I suppose the poet Gerard Manley Hopkins meant this when
he wrote, "There lives the dearest freshness deep down things."
So what did the mysterious sentence mean? I can only offer my own glimpse
of its meaning so that is what I shall try. There are two points in the
sentence - the 'I' and the 'We'. There are also two results or conditions -
illness or wellness. What I see is that the 'I' ( i.e.you and me) is a paradox.
The 'I' is both a glorious possibility and a terrible threat. The 'I' is a
glory if we mean the wonderful gifts and potential we all have. Think through
your day. The smiles, kind emails, laughter of children, support of friends,
the amazing technology that links us together and the hearts that open when
nature or humankind hurts us or others. This is that energy and power released
and the good news is that it is everywhere and everyone. Even in the darkest
heart and place it is present like a seed in the soil waiting for the opportunity
to burst into visible life and shape. This 'I' we must nurture and cultivate.
Our life and future demands and needs it.
Yet there is another 'I'. This 'I' is the ego. It's the part of us that
grasps and wants to control, possess and get all it can. It can be prepared to
push others aside and get angry, jealous and resentful when it doesn't get its
own way.When we see this in others we are repelled. It's a human trait we don't
like and yet most of us have elements of it. We sometimes use words to deny and
justify it. Bullies may say they are just being assertive. When we are greedy
we might say we are just enjoying life. This is the paradox - the amazing and
the appalling.
To have an 'I' which focuses on self alone will bring us a lot of misery,
suffering and isolation. We have to turn out to community and the other. We
have to find ways to use our gifts for service and not just self. There is a
powerful story in Dostoevsky. It is called 'The Parable of the Onion'. The
story is that the old lady lives a life of awful selfishness. She dies and goes
to Hell. She complains to the Devil there has been a mistake as
she shouldn't be there. The Devil says,"You've been a greedy, selfish woman
all your life. Surely, this is where you belong." The woman then remembers that
she once gave an onion to a beggar. At that point God intervenes and sends the
onion down and the woman is raised up out of Hell to Heaven. At that point
those also in Hell start grabbing her ankles and are caught up too. More and
more grab and hold on. The onion holds. They are all being lifted up to Heaven.
At a point the woman begins to get angry and resentful. She starts to kick at
the others and as they fell the onion frays more and more. Every kick brings a
fray. As she kicks more and more people back into Hell the onion get smaller
and smaller. Eventually there is only one person left holding onto to the
woman. She kicks them away too. At that point the onion breaks and she falls
back into Hell.
I am not writing this to make a religious point at all. The moral of the
story is that it was her anger and selfishness that destroyed it for herself
and so many others. The story is about harmony, wholeness and wellness demands
our communion, care and concern with others. It expresses our own gifts but
always in service. It's about always going out from oneself to others. When we
do we are enriched and the connection enriches others. In this process - this
mutual indwelling and enriching - we return to ourselves and the whole process
starts all over again. The Medieval scholars called it egressus and regressus.
It was the return and going out that marked and shaped all reality. In the
seasons, tides and so many other things this dynamism operated. It helps us see
how the 'I' is to go out to the ''We' to work and live. At the same time it
returns to be sourced and refreshed. The 'I' goes out with it's gifts and
riches - it is a container not a ruler of these. It brings to others in need
and connection. It is itself enriched as well as enriching. It returns with new
riches and possibilities. It's one of the most amazing things about life. If we
hoard our knowledge, experiences and gifts we become miserable. When we give
them to others we grow and find that we have more than when we started.
I'm very grateful to Roz for sharing this sentence. This sentence
offers us a deep reflection on where individuality and community meet. It
points out to me the dangers of self-centredness but also the value of each
self - we all make up the 'We'. So what is the call and message of the words
that I heard but couldn't see? It's simple really. We must self care but not
self obsess. We always become ourselves most fully in connection and community.
We can bring all we have to those we meet and who surround us. They can also
bring all their qualities and light too. This creates authentic conversations,
collaboration and culture. This quote is really a prescription. It is an action
call and plan for how we can live for wellness - individual, community and world
wellness. It's pretty incredible how ten words can offer such a transformative
promise but they do. It is often in the small things that we find the big
meanings and treasure we so need.
John Walsh. York Street Health Practice
Very thought provoking!
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